A Darkworker Arises

The man behind the crimson curtain has an interesting story. It begins in the Year of Our Lord 1979 (read: he is 28 years of age), where he was born in a little town named Peru. Not the country, of course, this is a little Carney-town right here in the good-old U.S. of A. As the tricksters got their trick-on and the freaksters got their freak-on, he came out into the world silently, bathed in fluorescent light. This actually made everyone upset. He was four months ahead of schedule. Silly little men in white coats said he would not live, and that even if he did, he would most likely be blind, deaf, or vegetative. He set out to prove them wrong, even though he had a very difficult time trying to get his lungs to work. To help him, they covered him in a fleece blanket and put him in a little clear box, and everyone had to touch him with plastic gloves. This probably explains the affinity for plastic and compulsive repulsion to fleece, which he would carry with him into adulthood…not to mention the constant sense of being on display. In any case, he was pronounced clinically dead twice, but managed to survive. His mother was a teen, and overwhelmed with it all, decided to give him to another family that could do better for him. She turned out to be wrong, they were no picnic, but hindsight is 20/20.

The Motivation:

In April of 2006, Asmoday lost his father. A decent man when the final toll was tallied, he had always struggled with addiction to pain-killers. Consequently, his father had tried to check himself into rehab, but when they yanked him off the morphine, his blood pressure bottomed-out and he moved into the next world. Asmoday had not spoken to him for five years, and while this turned out to be an obvious lapse in sound judgement, he was nevertheless appointed as executor of his father’s estate. As he cataloged the objects in the house, he first came across the video camera. This contained a tape, and on that tape was the first revelation. His father had made the tape just before he went into rehab, on which he announced that he believed his time was up, and that he was going to die. Needless to say, Asmoday’s mind lost total cabin pressure. Continuing, Asmoday happened upon his father’s notebook, which contained a list of goals. These were typical: Lift weights, Eat Better, Save Money, and so forth. What caught Asmoday’s eye was the margin notes. These portions of the page were filled with frustration – wondering why he kept trying and failing, and most important of all, the phrase: I hate myself. In short, his father had died alone, with friends who mocked him, a wife that moved on (which, given his deficiencies, this is to be expected, she is a really amazing person), disabled, and covered in self-loathing. His casket had been filled with broken dreams. Asmoday ripped out that page, and he still has it to this day. In that moment he vowed that part of his purpose would be to help you (yes, you, reader) learn to love yourself, and achieve all of your dreams.

Personal Trivia:

Asmoday is left-handed and has 20/15 vision, although this doesn’t help him avoid those women that he really, really, really shouldn’t be dating. Yeah. He never sees it coming, but he likes it that way – something hot about dysfunction. He normally would choose to be vegetarian, but his weakness is pig. God, he loves pig. He could keep a little pot-belly pig as a pet. Name it. Cuddle it. Sing to it. Make it wear a little stocking-hat on holidays. Then, without reservation, he could slay it and make the morning bacon. That is how much he loves pig. Among many other things, he is a practicing street magician and amateur vocalist. Education-wise, he holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Economics and is generally reguarded as the neighborhood smarty-pants. His interests include personal development, military history & tactics, marksmanship, horseback riding, politics, the environment, gardening, gaming, technology, science, and naked twister. Most important of all, he has declared absolute jihad on your self-doubt and limiting beliefs.

Currently, you way contact him via email at: Asmoday369@gmail.com