I don’t know if you’ve met me yet. My name is Asmoday.
I’d like to share a little bit about myself…
The song, “We are the World”, makes me want to vomit the same way Mein Kamph makes Hebrews want to piss on Germans. I also hate anyone who drives one of those modern VW bugs with a spot actually molded into the dash to hold a vase with flowers. In fact, if I met one of the owners of these vehicles, and stumbled across a true moment of opportunity – I would probably bang their head against the dash until all the repackaged and mass-marketed hippie culture came gushing out of their eyes. Its disgusting, hypocritical, and more importantly, showcases the handiwork of my enemies. Telethons to save the hungry, starving masses in Africa make me want to rip my own teeth out. Sure, hunger is bad, but love-cloaked propaganda, which pushes half-hearted measures, where the real goal is to feel like you’re special because you did your part, well, that’s way, way worse. The list goes on and on.
Oh, I know, I’m an evil, hate-filled, crazy, sociopathic bastard.
But am I?
All the above things have one little piece in common – they’re based on lies.
We are not one. We never have been, we never will be. Yes, there is this gigantic web of cause and effect. Each one of us adds to the causes, therefore determines the effects that others experience. A butterfly flaps its wings in Tibet, and then the Levies break in New Orleans and hundreds of thousands of people are standing outside a dilapidated stadium chanting help, help. The great tapestry of life.
Its bullshit. Any tapestry is still composed of individual threads, you morons.
This whole non-dualism thing where we’re all god-consciousness is just retarded. People who believe in this crap have never watched militiamen in the Congo chop the breasts off of living, screaming women. Of course, they’ve never had their teeth kicked out while they crawl and wriggle and wonder if this is how they are going to die – all because some guy really needed to take the cash in the register to get his fix, and figured it was time to be proactive about those pesky witnesses. And, I’d be willing to bet my life on it that they’ve never known the cold-metallic press of steel against their heads while their rapist asks them if that’s how they like to take it.
In short, they missed out on the slow, creeping horror as someone else hears your inner cry of “No!” and just disregards it.
So yeah, Kumbayah makes me want to kill someone.
The simple truth is that we are all free, independent agents. Yes, we are subject to the world we find ourselves in, but we’re not all connected any more than that. As agents, we can choose, and we can force that will over others. We can also have the will of others forced upon us.
This is not about fear, or being fear-based. I don’t walk around feeling anxious and paranoid, like at any second its inevitable that someone is going to hurt me, or wound my pride, or try to kill me. I acknowledge the truth that this could happen, prepare myself for that eventuality until I feel confident that I can deal with it, and move on with my life.
This is simply Darkworking in action – and it is merely rational.
But Lightworkers want you to believe that we’re all fueled by our fear because that way they, quite simply, look good by comparison. After all, who wants to walk around feeling that kind of dread all the time? No one. But the truth of the world is what it is, you have two choices – delude yourself into believing that some mystical shield of save-the-planet happy will protect you, or deal with it. Its better to be honest.
Then there is the 60’s, and this whole idea of simple-love-living, which basically amounts to the myth of altruism. Another fib we feed Timmy at bedtime so he won’t have nightmares as he struggles to comprehend the world…
Woodstock was not about real change. First off, a lot of people came for the drugs. I mean damn, you couldn’t throw a rock without hitting a sheet of acid and an orgy, who the hell wouldn’t want to go to that party? And hell, its like all the major bands are there, and there’s no ticket. Nothing tastes better than free beer.
And not much changed either, in reality, it just got worse.
Which was the whole hippie movement. Its really about just hedonistically feeling good, but lets cloak it in politics, and rebellion from the oppressive old fuckers, so we don’t have to feel like hollow pleasure-seekers. Yeah, that’s it, if we wrap ourselves in as many Ideals as possible, that will make all the real motivations seem like noble causes. Its not about me, and what I want in the moment, its about this oppressed group or that big bad system. That’s the thing, it wasn’t free-love so much as it was feel-good-meville. Then, the same generation who did all this, goes off the deep end, becoming the most materialistic generation in American history. The hollow feel-gooders now become the feel-buyers, and the Yuppie is born. They’ve decided they want their new feel good rush to come from stuff, and lots of it. The symbol of all this is an “environmentally friendly” car (where pro-environment has become a marketing tactic, ahem?) with a vase-mold in the dash.
Please. If you can’t see the hypocracy in all that, I don’t know what to say.
Had they simply said, “We just wanna party and feel cool” they might have realized they were capable of much more, and actually created lasting change. Instead, they deluded themselves and now we have a generation raised by MTV.
First off, Ideals simply do not exist. They have no concrete reality – they are ideas in the human mind. It’s a picture of how things could be. But, by their very nature, an ideal cannot be reached. They are based on a concept of perfection, but in an ever-changing universe, perfection can never be achieved. There is always something more that could be done, a new level of perfection. True Ideals are Dynamic, and always general – Truth, Beauty, Justice – because they have no real substance. If someone tries to invoke an ideal on a static picture, with a goal, as though its an ideal, for example, “Democracy will be established when Saddam Hussein is removed from power” or “We will have Equality when women are paid equal wages to men”, there is something self-serving going on. Ideals are always used to cloak some personal benefit which the individual does not want to be seen.
In the case of the hippie-think you hear rattled all the time – with everything from the environment to unconditional love — its almost always just either hedonism, or a desire to feel superior or special (the most common), enlightened, civilized (call it whatever you want, its still just a pleasure pill), or a desire to control, or fear of some kind, masquerading under empty, illusory ideals.
Which brings me to Africa. Here’s the thing, if you want to help people that are starving, you either send trucks and relocate them to a country where they can get jobs and buy food, or you send lots of irrigation equipment, tillers, you know, farming gear. Maybe airdrop a crap-ton of seeds and fertilizer. Hell, you could even just help them get some industry going, or send in troops on a long-term basis so the industry can grow and prosper, then they can buy their own food. This is common sense – the problem can easily be fixed, but its not about solving the problem. Just sending food is a band-aid, and deep down, everyone knows it.
Really, its about feeling superior and getting to smile and say “I’m such a great person”, at the same time. Which, is like ego-crack.
The reality is, all anyone really cares about is themselves. We see all the pain of others through the lense of our own pain – we will feel more compassion for those who remind us of ourselves than for others. There is no altruism. Darkworkers give, and they do it for the same two reasons everyone else does – because it simply makes us feel good, and because we would want others to do the same.
It’s the whole thing about being nice – I am nice to you, because if I am not nice to you, then you’ll be mean to me, and vice versa. We’re locked into non-savage behavior by mutually assured destruction. Or, its social insurance – man, when I’m old I hope people will help me with doors, so I’ll help old people with doors. Then, others will adopt this behavior and I’ll have doors held open for me when I’m old. This is precisely why when we expect help, and don’t get it even though we’ve given it in similar situations, we get so damn pissed off. Most times, giving is like a long-term, self-interested investment.
I’m just so tired of people thinking Darkworkers are evil or selfish because we make a commitment to Accept Truth. Not following this Axiom has lead to centuries of guilt, shame, and hypocracy. How many times have those in power used Ideals to mask self-serving behaviors? Would this be easy to do if Ideals were understood as illogical? How many times have great achievements failed because people were guilted into serving the selfish needs of others? Would humanity be better off if these goals had been the person’s primary focus, without remorse or regret? How many times has the needs of the many lead a life of quiet despair for the one? If someone improved theirselves, would it not be a better world? If everyone did this, would we not reach paradise?
I say, stop looking to others to complete you, help you, understand you, give you value, provide you with meaning…
Stop trying to justify why you want what you want, why you do what you do, and state the truth simply.
Its only when you have accepted truth, in all its beauty and ugliness, that you can truly act. Live in falseness, and your actions will always ring false.
I say, stop looking outside, where answers cannot be found, and look inside.
Ultimately, you were born alone, and will die alone.
There is no one who can understand you like you can understand yourself.
True Love is based on acceptance and understanding.
No one can love you like you can love yourself. No one truly can love you but yourself.
You don’t have to justify anything, ever. Your will is what you are – who you are. The moment you were born, perfection was already yours. You are totally unique and filled with infinite power. Give wholeheartedly to yourself.
Don’t you deserve it?
After all, John Grey comes on “The Secret” and says, “Stop looking for someone else to give you more and give to yourself until you are full, and then overflow with that to give to others,”.
And we say the same thing and we’re evil? Go figure.