My name is Asmoday. I am a Darkworker. Yup, out in the open, taking a bow, with a rose in hand.
Pleased to meet you, Ambassadors of the Light.
Your world to me is a strange one, to say the least. It is filled with glee over a new flavor of organic hummus, cackling at the spontaneous sight of double-rainbows, and oceans of time lost in ecstatic love orgies where the point appears to be to turn hugging into a professional occupation. Most of all, your Path culminates in something I can only equate (in both function and preference) to taking an acid-bath: As you purposefully, joyfully subsume Self completely into the Divine.
Likewise, I am sure that describing my world as alien through your eyes, is an understatement. We seem to be fanatically devoted to a never-ending quest for more refined protein sources, abandon ourselves to animalistic frenzied celebration at the conquest of another human being, and to enter one of our gatherings is to wade into a sea of axe body spray from which there is no return. Finally, our Path at the apex must seem maniacal to you: Whereas, we seek to grow the shadow of Self until it subsumes all we survey, taking more than any one person could need, fully realizing the Divine.
But, here is the thing. I have, as you no doubt expect from a Darkworker, lied to you. However, my lie has noble purpose. Aside from the remarks on our respective Paths, the above paragraphs contain very little Truth. I have taken two groups of people, and put them in an over-simplified soup, boiling out all of reality until what is left is simply false. This, is the essence of prejudice. And, that is what I would like to talk to you about.
We have a mutual need, and to meet this need we must have a conversation. But, with all the prejudice, this conversation cannot take place. And, I must address the prejudice before I can even speak to the need. It is my understanding that you believe all life has value. Well, I am a life, as I do both breathe and bleed, and I would like to invoke that value to get you to continue reading. For my part, I make you this promise — I won’t lie again. No tricks. No gimmicks. Just my heart and the rose. If these simple terms are agreeable, let us proceed.
Of course, if you are sitting there, still wondering what my real, hidden motive is, you are not listening. If you do not listen, as you would to anyone else, this cannot work. You must drop the fear and the walls for a moment. After all, I am always told, in a nebulous way, that the Love and Light are stronger than anything. Naturally, this makes me smirk inside, and you cannot blame me for that from where I sit in the field of consciousness. But, I entertain the idea, nonetheless. Well, I say we test it. If this idea is true as you maintain it is, what can one such as myself possibly do to you with some words on a little screen? Nothing, without your express consent. To act otherwise is to hold quite a lofty belief on the one hand and then practice a pragmatic, fear-motivated turtling into the shell, on the other. I would like to believe you are better than that.
Also, I will be honest about my motives. This is an issue I have grappled with for some time. What finally prompted me to write this to you was an experience I had with a Lightworker. Dan MacDonald, the Life-Regenerator, to be more specific. I reached out to him on behalf of a client who is having health issues that I am ill-equipped to handle. When contacting him I explained that I too am a teacher, specializing in self-love. He immediately shifted gears, asking for my help. Long story short, his eagerness quickly turned. I found myself waiting for a call that never came, and my attempt at follow-up was met with a resounding silence. I can only assume that he checked the website, came to know he was talking to a Darkworker, and “turtled up”. Otherwise, if he had simply resolved his issues on his own, I would have received some kind of response. You don’t build his kind of audience by being flakey. Now, this hurt, because I happen to respect him. I had followed him for quite some time. While I think his spiritual ideas take him well beyond the boundaries of crazy-town at times, we have a similar style. And, we have similar goals.
Further, fate or karma, pick a word — had intended for us to do work. Problems and solutions don’t just collide at the perfect time for no reason, as we well know. More importantly, to reject me in such a fashion also has an impact on my client. But, this happens to me all the time. As soon as Lightworkers catch wind — no matter how much we have dealt in person — down go the iron bars on the windows and deadbolts lock into place. I call these spiritual abortions, and I don’t even get the courtesy of an ultra-sound before my fetus is ejected out of the airlock.
I had a similar experience with Steve Pavlina a while back. I wrote him an honest email, from the heart, about a dream I had. And, I was trying to discuss a subject that I could, obviously, only discuss with an advanced Lightworker. Namely, the theory that for every Lightworker, there is a Darkworker as a mirror, sort of like US and Cuban troops along the fence-line. Not only did he stop responding, in a later article on how to get people to respond to emails, he specifically mocked using the “mystical” manipulator approach.
Why assume I am trying to run some sort of angle? As this was honest expression on my part, I could only chalk this up to rejection due to prejudice. After all, based on how many you perceive us: A drug addict is fully capable of manipulating to meet their addiction needs, but it does not mean that every single thing they do is a manipulation. I have literally watched Lightworkers pause, and check internally, to be sure that they are not rejecting a clear drug addict on reflex, but I do not get the same courtesy.
In short, I am a rare thing. I am a Darkworker who is motivated to teach and aid. While rare, this does not make me a Lightworker, something that often gets called into question. Sadly, in refuting this idea I have both hands tied behind my back. The only way I can conclusively demonstrate this in a public way requires me to put myself in an awkward position. For example, I could make a video of myself beating the shit out of a homeless guy and post it for all to see. Why? Because, in a time of inflation, I pay rent, motherfucker. Something I am more than capable of doing. But, then I’m in orange. It’s a pickle.
In any case, this prejudice is a problem. Myself and many others are having a more difficult time in expression, that is, fulfilling our purpose due to childish misunderstanding. And, as we are all in fact interrelated, this is causing drag on you as well. Let us do as wise people have exhorted us, and as we are not children, put away childish things. I will break this down, and keep in mind I am talking here from my perspective. As I see it, and I think you will agree, this problem has 4 main components, like a seed that starts in one place and grows into a giant prejudice tree:
1) Ignorance: Quite simply, fear of the unknown. You don’t understand Darkworking, both intellectually and emotionally, so there is an inherent tendency to reject it, or at minimum, keep it at a distance.
2) Intolerance: I cannot count the number of times that I have listened to a Lightworker make the argument that, just because we do not understand the values of a culture or people, we have no right to dehumanize them. Apparently, this somehow applies to cannibals in the jungle and entire towns who gather together to stone women to death, but not to me and mine. We are just wrong.
3) Over-Generalization: Right now, there are a group of Darkworkers who are, quite frankly, attempting to turn the world to shit. From our perspective, they are sick, in a state of Dark Fusion. Unfortunately, from your perspective, they are Darkworking itself. Does the Westboro Baptist Church represent all the sum total of Christians in the world? Nope. They are just the most visible, because of the controversy and the suffering they cause.
4) Distortion: At the apex, this leads many of you to conclude that Darkworking is, to the organism of human consciousness, a cancer. As cells that are cancerous threaten the overall body without compromise, these cells must be removed. They are not to be talked to, interacted with, or reasoned — they are simply to be cleansed. All principles of Lightworking then, such as universal goodwill and love, equality, justice and so on, are then de-facto suspended regarding this one group. Bad move.
Now, from a Darkworking perspective, you are fully able to hold these views and act on them as you see fit. There is no morality on our Path, so I cannot refute it by an appeal to principle. However, on our Path, we are committed to accepting Truth. There, is where I get some traction. These views are, to the point, false. In the Buddhist sense, any action that springs from Wrong View will most likely, to the same degree, have Wrong Effect. Neither of our Paths want that. To this end, I am going to try to pull a George Washington, without the lies as promised, and cut down this Cherry Tree. But, I’m going to do it in reverse, working from the limbs down to the trunk, and lastly pulling out those roots.
Of course, you may be wondering why you should care. I will get to that — but let me offer this now. The reason I can do this, is because I have spent time with you. Exorbitant amounts of time. During my work in activism, I sat in more drum circles than I could count, and some of my clothes to this day still reek of patchouli. I got to know you, but more importantly, I got to feel you. Some of you, I got to feel in more ways than one. We worked together, suffered together. And, sometimes, I suffered for you and you for me. That, is how you truly experience a thing. And, I don’t regret any of it — far from it. In fact, to come to experience you deepened my own understanding of and progress along the Path. It will, in an appeal to self-interest, do the same for you.
So, if you are still reading, thank you. Let the conversation begin. I have a lot to say, so this will be the first part in a series. Sit back, relax, and let the healing begin.