How to Learn to Lead: The Alpha Fakeout

J.C. LaCroix Personal Productivity, Power Tactics, Uncategorized

Admit it. You want to be a King or Queen? Who doesn’t. I’m going to show you how, and if you think you don’t want it, you’re being silly.

After all, you get to wear brand new clothes everyday. Herds of people flock around you and cater to your every whim. You can command people to your presence. And, if you feel like it, you can order a servant to bring you breakfast in bed, nail them with wanton abandon, and then smack them for taking too long, if you feel like it.

How the hell is that not inspiring, I ask you?

I want this for you too – at least for a moment. I want you to taste what it’s like to be the Alpha of the Group. You see, we are hard-wired to look to a central figure, its flat out imprinted onto our DNA. It is why we had Kings or Queens at all. Now, some will make the argument that we had Kings and Queens, because they had Soldiers. This is true, I will not deny that “Angering the Prince is death”, precisely because He or She has the swords or guns at their command. What I will point to, though, is that the Solders were there only because the King or Queen had the money to pay them. And, the only reason they had the money to pay them was because people submitted to a certain relationship – namely, your land is really my land and I demand taxes, but will protect you and your privileges. If every noble just independently refused this relationship and said, nah, there would have been no taxes, no centralized army, and no King or Queen.

We forget this instinct a lot because in the modern world, we’ve developed this illusion called Democracy and have forgotten where we came from. You can see this everywhere. Corporate CEO’s. Department Heads. Team Leaders. Celebrities. In every single workplace, there is one person who holds the Alpha role – and sometimes people fight over it. In governments, you always see a President or Prime Minister. We feel an inherent need to invest one individual with more power than anyone else – the Scepter, so to speak. This goes all the way down to the household – someone is wearing the pants in every family. And, it permeates our social lives – every group of friends has one. Even perfect strangers, facing some common crisis, will show this pattern – someone will emerge and lead. And the herd, the sleepers, will just instinctually follow.

We don’t have to do it that way – we could do everything as individuals, or do everything by group consensus, or any other countless number of ways, but we feel a deep urge to have some centralized control, and without it, we turn into…well, apes. Interesting, yeah?

Look for it and you will begin to see it everywhere you see a group in action.

A King or Queen is nothing more than the Prima Alpha of a Common Group, that we happen to call a Nation-State.

Now, if you do want to become a Prince(ess), you are going to have to learn how to do this – it will take a lifetime of study to master it. To motivate you along that road, I want you to start small, with just a small group of friends. And more importantly, I also want you to taste the rewards so you can have something to keep you going.

Before I lay down the methodology to this little tool – I want to give you a word of warning. If you are weak on the social skills, or even socially retarded, or good on the social skills but lacking in self-confidence, you need to prepare to work at this for a little bit. It will take a little amount of tinkering to get it to work. People will challenge you, what is often called a “Bullshit Test” to see if you’re really Alpha material – this is also hard wired into the species, to prevent just anyone from grabbing the throne. More than likely, they will knock you off the pedestal as you climb up, at first. Just be prepared for that going in, accepting that Alpha is a learned skill like anything else. Contrary to popular belief – Mozart didn’t literally sit down at a piano and start whipping out classical masterpieces, it’s a process, even for the talented. What I have attempted to do here is to create a method that even the socially inept can use to sieze that position, even for a moment – even if it is seized back after a short while.

Okay, so get your little group and get them together, doing something where sitting and chatting is the thing – invite them out to coffee, or over to your house for some drinks, whatever. Get everyone sitting down and yapping.

A little tip to make your first attempts easier – if you’re female work with a group that is mostly, or all, men. If you’re male, try it with a group that is mostly, or all, female.

When you are ready to make your move, be easy and relaxed, don’t be obvious about this – move your position so that seated position higher than everyone elses, and you are also central to the group in some way. Be creative. Sit on the back of the couch, sit proper on the chair in the corner. If all else fails, stand up, but lean against something, put your hands in your pockets, and use non-threatening body language and expressions, keep the conversation going.

You have just declaired your intent to everyone else in the group, not to their conscious brain, but to their primal, subconscious one — I call it the Trumpet.

Keep talking, and wait a moment for everyone to relax.

If someone shit-tests you at this point, while rare, it will be to openly announce in some fashion that you have elevated yourself in some way, usually, “Hey, sit down you’re making me nervous”, or “what, you gotta keep your eyes on everyone”. People fail this test by justifying – a King or Queen needs no justification. Don’t make something up about just trying to get comfortable, or dismiss it with some joke about being paranoid and needing to see everyone, and please don’t announce your intent, like “How am I supposed to rule you peasants if I sit at your level?”. Instead, pass the test by flipping the accusation – in other words Alpha the group by mocking the other person for pointing this out, for example. “Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot my please-can-I-sit-where-I-please form, Mr. Seat-Planner, let me go grab that and I’ll be right back”, or you can go for the direct insult but make it teasing and not hostile, “No, I wanted a better look, at this angle your head looks like a gigantic testicle”, or if you’re not that comfortable with direct confrontation pick someone in the group and say, “Well, I was getting bored – I thought we might play duck-duck goose, and I wanted to make sure I’d win”. Don’t deflect or justify, acknowledge and claim.

Now, after conversation proceeds for a little bit, you need to start the phase I call Proclamation. The way you do this is simple, let conversation proceed as normal. But when someone says something positive, say something affirmative, like “Awesome. I love that”. If they say something negative, like telling a sad story, respond with something like “Dude, that sucks, I would have been like no way”. The point here is that you are bringing the focus of the group energy towards you. Now, don’t monopolize the conversation, and this works best if you are asking others in the group questions, “How’d your trip go” Answer, “Sweet. I love it. Was it cold?” Answer, “No way, I would have been out of there.”. Feed them energy, but bend it back this way. Slowly, raise the volume of your voice a bit, don’t bellow, just be a little bit louder than everyone else.

The only shit-test you should get at this point is a call out on the method, “Well, I’m glad you like that, Steve”. Flip this thusly – lick your finger and say, “Well, you won’t like this, here, give me your ear” and move our sloppy finger towards them. You don’t have to give them the wet-willy, just disrupt the move and then initiate a new question or topic.

Again, the way to pass the shit-test is to not relinquish control by explaining yourself.

If you have done this right, you can check by now moving into Authority.

Stand up, or if leaning, stand up all the way and say, “Hey guys, lets go over to X”

X is not a change in venue to a new location – X is just a short way from where you are. It could be a different room in the house, say, from the living room to the den. Or, it could just be moving a few feet down on the sidewalk. Don’t wait for them say “Ok,” just move over to where you suggested. If they protest or don’t follow, just repeat the command, “Come on, come on, this is cool”. They should get up and move. When they come over, offer them a “cookie”. The cookie is the benefit they received by following your lead. For example, if you move them to a new room, initiate the fun activity that being in the new room provides. Or, if you moved down the sidewalk a bit, point out a shadey person, and be like, “Well, he was kinda on the grungy side, I caught a wiff and didn’t want us near him”. This goes back to the ancient rule of Alphahood – I follow you because you look out for me. It’s the positive side of this human arrangement.

If you get shit tested here – it will be deliberate resistance by not complying with your request. Often, this is just one or two people. If only one or no people follow – you’ve not nailed some earlier step properly. Oh well, try again with a new group, or after a time period with the same group. If the minority of people in the group don’t follow, you pass this test by just not acknowledging them. Literally. If they state their intention “Nah man, I’m chilling in here…” just say, “Right on” or “Cool” and move your attention back to the others. If they just stay there and say nothing, say nothing back. Then get your group laughing and having a good time, and they will follow. Have some funny stories prepared, or a really killer group activity ready, for this eventuality.

Finally, seal the deal by moving into Dominion. Every tribe has an outcast, what we call the Delta Wolf in pack-tactics. You are going to exercise your Alpha right to assign this role, with a method known as a push-pull. Its really easy. When you get good at claiming Alpha, you can skip right to this step a lot of the time.

What you are going to do is wait for someone to do or say something where you can give them a compliment. You are then going to go apecrap happy about whatever it is – and at some point they will acknowledge the compliment, and you will revoke the compliment, not by insulting them, but by reframing the behavior as more mundane. Here’s an example. Lets say you’re playing trivial persuit and someone gets a question right. You would be like, “Holy shit dude, how did you know that? You’re like a friggin genius! My god!”. They would reply with something like, “Yeah, I like to read a lot”. Then you reply, in a teasing tone, “Whoa, whoa, whoa there Chief. Lot of lonely nights you got with all them books their buddy?” Now smile and physically give them a pat or something. The touch is an act of Dominance. The group will acknowledge your success by laughing, and you will know you have control over social roles.

The shit test here is obvious – the person will contest your trying to assign their station, probably by insulting you back. Rather than fighting about that at all – threaten to revoke the “cookie” from the group. In other words, for our current example, “Well now, if we’re gonna be all grumpy, I can put the game up,”. The person will usually now back off. This is the expected behavior from the Alpha – who knows they are supposed to be in the Alpha role.

There’s the method in a nutshell. Alpha tactics are fascinating and complicated, but like I said, this is a way to get a taste for yourself. Notice how the group changes as you become the alpha – enjoy the night, the rush of it, notice how they turn towards you in conversation. Enjoy it. You are an Awakened God, it is your birthright.

What has been presented here is like a “starter kit”. You will have to play and tinker to find your own style. Alpha tactics are complex, there are as many moves in the game as there are people who plat it. Start here, and you’re well on your way.

First a circle of friends, then a multitude.

There is nothing you cannot do, your Majesty.