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The Ninth Law, stated:
“Adjust, and leave failure to the unfortunate.”
I can tell if you are out of alignment with this Law by asking you a simple question: If you scan through your past or present, do you have anything that you wanted to do and didn’t, or something you tried at and did not succeed, that still leaves you with even the slightest amount of pain, guilt, embarrassment, shame, regret, self-loathing? For most of us, this is going to be true, somewhere, with something, if we are being honest. It’s just sheer probability and human imperfection in action. This law calls us to cut the bullshit, and reframe ourself back into truth.
Unfortunately, we live in a world full of failures. Of course, the only true failure is someone who stops trying. Which, is most people. In game theory, there is this concept where you play not to loose. Most people are playing the game of life in that way, to not loose. And, they will probably never know that pain of hard failure ever again. But, they will never win, either. Is that what you want for yourself? I mean, if you don’t want to win, seriously, why are you here? This lie being handed down happens because at some point, try and reach for their deepest desire, usually when kids, and fail big. It hurts. Bad. Now, I talked a whole lot about this in the Free Choice article, but the RAS lends itself to playing it safe. So, what we get is basically an unintentional projection from adults onto children that failure is bad. They’re not meaning to sentence you to an abysmal life of mediocrity. They’re trying to save you from a pain that they don’t fully understand the purpose of. We all inherited it, with rare exceptions. 90% of all successful people have overcome it, and to be Elite, you’re going to have to reverse this conditioning. No getting around it.
Sadly, most of you are going to wave me off. You get this whole failure thing, yeah?
Seriously, before you brush me off, return to the question I asked you in the beginning and take a good, hard, long look. Go deep inside. I almost guarantee you’ll find at least one hang-up, which means you still need some remedial work.
Failure, my friends, is not bad. It’s good. I am experiencing it right now, and I’m not upset. Boy-scout’s-honor truth, I am excited as all hella-shit. Its amazing, today in my life, when I hear the idea that failure is bad, I literally laugh out loud. My current paradigm simply boots the idea to the curb like an ugly hooker with dentures. This, is the biggest lie ever believed, and when you stop to think about it, the notion is just crazy.
For example, let’s suppose all aspiring basketball players just up and quit when they failed to make a basket. What would happen? Basketball, as a sport, would disappear almost overnight. Point blank. I mean, imagine Michael Jordan as a kid, and he misses for the first time. He stops. Pauses. Sighs. And then walks off the court, never to return. I mean, it makes me kinda nauseous, the idea is so ridiculous, verdad?
Then why are you still punishing yourself for past failure, when success requires failure?
Look, what does a basketball player do when they miss a shot? They recalibrate, and try again. And, they keep recalibrating until they start making baskets. Its pretty simple. Of course, if they missed an important shot, like the free-throw that determined the last big game, they go at that practice like a wild ape. They use the failure as a fuel to burn away imperfection in form. Usually, if they don’t quit, they come back at a whole new level of game.
Life, no matter what the skill or goal, is the exact same thing. You simply adjust, and keep adjusting until you get what you want. It’s just an equation, this whole persuit of success thing. Your starting point and conditions don’t mean a damn thing, across the board, no matter the objective. They are, ultimately, at best forcing an adaption – if you’re using them for an excuse, they’re a limiting belief that either needs to be destroyed or shrugged off.
And, there is the myth of talent. If you haven’t read Outliers: The Story of Success
, get a copy. Malcolm Gladwell breaks down the pursuit of virtuoso status, and finds that without exception, they all have at least 10,000 hours of practice. We don’t see the hours, we just see the result of those hours, the pure awesome. When we attempt the same thing, we feel like bumbling jackwads because of this myth, and usually give up. What if you did the same thing with walking when you were a kid? Everyone else looked pretty damn skillfull at walking. But, you’re stumbling a little. Obviously, you’re not cut out for this walking thing, right? Please. The idea is absurd. Stop doing it with anything else, then. Get the book. Read it. Blast this belief out of the water. Read other books in self-help, especially the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Get your hands on every single failure-after-failure-turned-success story you can. Read them until the thought of another one makes you want to vomit. You can condition yourself this way. Once your fear or failure is removed, you will naturally come to stick with things.
The most powerful thing you can do, to integrate this law is to first change your vocabulary. Eliminate the world failed from your vocabulary, in reference to yourself. You can keep it for others, its fun to use. A lady I know kept dropping things over andf over again, the other day. I told her, “Gravity is kicking your ass!”. Now, she became self-conscious by me pointing it out, my exact purpose, and starting dropping things more. Each time, I would stop and point at whatever she dropped and scream, “Fail!” Eventually, after her frustration peaked, she broke out laughing, and I gave her a hug. Once she let go of the tension and discomfort, she stopped dropping things altogether.
Ponder that for a bit.
In any case, in reference to yourself, replace “failure” with the simple phrase, “I got good feedback”. This will start the shift.
I’ll say that one more time, failure is simply feedback. It indicates further adjustment is required. It is inevitable that if you simply keep adjusting, you will reach your goal. You don’t know what the magic combination is, but with enough feedback, even an ape can type a short story. Surely, you, a divine homo-sapien, can do anything you set your mind to if you persevere.
Secondly, go back over past failures and look at the situation. What adjustment could you have made that you didn’t make? What, precisely, was your mis-step?
Fail, for you, means Fuck All Ignorant Lies. No, simply means, “Not Over!”.
Leave failure to the unfortunate who play not to loose.
Now, I could tell you about how Abraham Lincoln ran for office countless times, and lost, before becoming President. Or, I could mention how Bill Gate’s first company, something having to do with home security systems, was an abysmal failure. But, I try to teach-by-personal-example, when I can, so I thought I might share some of mine, and more importantly, the lesson, or adjustment I needed to make. Here, I’m just talking lame failures, where I didn’t go back and succeed, just walked away (except for real-estate). To keep it brief, I’m limiting it to my top three what-the-fucks.
I’ll focus on business, since a lot of you are raring to get some wealth going:
- You’ll think this is idiotic. My first rental property – I rented to friends (never do that, personal connections get in the way of proper landlording), didn’t have anyone sign a lease (2 grand mistake, they trashed the place and left out of the blue), never had an inspector come out and check the property, and last but not least, the area was set for depreciation following a bubble. The personal losses I took here literally kept me out of the game entirely for a little over a year.
- I watched a lot of porn, once upon a time, and thought that qualified me to partner up with a guy, supposedly experienced in the industry, and start a porn studio. I wanted to do interactive date porn, like a choose your own adventure. The idea was to teach guys pick-up skills from a first person POV perspective, with the porn being a kind of reward at the end. I was supposed to be a silent partner. They all spent the first day drinking, no filming. Now, I don’t silent partner anymore. Our first actress walked in, saw another girl, is homophobic, and walked right out. So, we went solo. Second actress walked in and demanded 3,000 for a one-day shoot. Hence, we started doing contracts before-the-fact. Third shoot attempt and this time the guy can’t get hard. We buy Viagra and require a doctor to sign off. Keep in mind, every time we have new actors, we’re having to re-shoot all the dating/conversation/sarging option scenes. Costly. Fourth shoot, no one shows. My not-so-silent partner has left the country, with about 10k of my money. I pull some strings to extradite him back stateside. He’s already spent my money. I still think the idea was sound, but the associated drama makes this a no-go zone. Now, when I partner, my funds are not pooled in a joint account. Of course, now that I’ve announced this idea publically, someone will actually pull it off. The lesson there – of course, don’t delay, get it done first.
- This won’t seem so stupid to you, but knowing what I know now, this is the most ignorant business move I’ve ever made. I once came up with this idea for a small water clock, filled with various glow-in-the-dark gells. And, the kicker was, it had a mister. You could put perfume or whatever in it, but the idea was to take it to raves (one of my favorite hobbies is rave fishing…I put a glow stick on a string, throw it out on the dance floor, and see how many ravers I can lure in…try it, it works and is entertaining to the max), and you could put ecstasy in it. Almost like a raver idol of sorts. I spent about 2.5 grand getting the prototype and manufacturing the initial roll-out supply for local head shops. Three months, not a single one sells. Turns out, ravers don’t take equipment like that with them, and most don’t use at home, only at the raves. And, it’s a double whammy, because with some research, I found out someone tried it before, and those didn’t sell either. I tried to donate them to the Children’s Museum, no dice. I ended up giving them away, and sending some to the goodwill. I was in a goodwill a few months back, and actually saw a dusty one still on the shelf. This was how Asmoday learned two pivotal things – research the competition before you invest, and do things “backwards” (figure out what the market wants, then provide it, not provide something and then hope the market wants it).
So, there you go guys. Each “failure” was just feedback. And, that doesn’t include my Darkworking feedback, my relationship feedback, career feedback, and so forth. The precise reason for my power, at this point, is all the feedback I’ve gained. Feedback in one area bleeds out, and helps you in other areas. Its all just momentum.
This is what you should be doing, going back, listing your “feedback”. Seeing it on paper helps the refame.
Do it now.