What is it?
You see, in personal development, we are selling you change. You want it, and we have the way. Or at least, we’re supposed to – and if we don’t have the way, then we have the reason you don’t have the way, right? Well, what I would like to do is back up, and talk about change itself. I don’t want to sell you change, I want to sell you the changer kit. If you know what change is really, and learn how to feel its workings, then you don’t really need us anymore, do you?
First thing, understand that change is energy. Why? Change is the world moving from one state to another. And, the world is at baseline, just energy. Nothing more, nothing less. And, there are certain facts about energy, which we can then extrapolate to change.
- Dynamic: Energy is always in motion, hence, change is always occurring, it never stops.
- Cyclical: Energy is moving through cycles, hence change is a repeating cycle.
- Balance: Energy is never created nor destroyed. So, what is created must have equal destruction, and vice-versa. Thus, all things are being created and destroyed, infinitely and eternally, to a zero-sum.
So, what I am going to do is lay down a process of change, in a slow, deliberate fashion, that never quite stops, repeats in cycles, and is balanced – very similar to a controlled, tantric jerk under my pants in a crowded theater. We will begin in the space between one change cycle and the next…
Catatonic: The Receding Void
We have all had those times of prolonged apathy and boredom. The world is malaise, blasé, and existential angst. Everything seems like a copy, of a copy, of a copy. The same familiar people, in the same familiar places, all doing the same boring shit. The world isn’t so much a hell, as it is a grey expanse of nothing. To the Sleeper mind, this is a place of stagnant apathy. A prison of predictability.
However, that is far from what is happening here. On an energy level, all of the creative motion behind the previous changes has drained out. Much like a receding tide pulls back and reveals a barren, hollow landscape underneath, the energies have dimmed and dissipated, leaving only Void behind. It is similar to the space which exists between breaths in normal breathing, or the small stretch of still time between thoughts that arise in our minds. Often, in metaphysical literature, this part of the chain will be given representation as a barren desert.
Yet, the mind that is Awake sees the true nature of this phase. While it appears empty, it is actually brimming and ready to burst forth. The Void is the union of all energies, the joining of the elements – as these elements cancel each other, they create the illusion of empty space. But, as all energies are present and chambered, Void itself is actually the radiant field of infinite potential. With but one spark of Divine will in the Void, all universe was given form. It is the unlimited potential of the blank canvas, if perceived as a beginning. When viewed as an ending, it is the curtain call, the fade to black. Truly, the Catatonic phase is still and pregnant. From this emptiness, any reality which your mind can conceive, it can create.
It is important to remember that all change occurs in this phase. The ignorant mind, limited by its own delusion, will see and perceive change as taking place in later phases, but in reality, it occurs here. The later phases are the movement through an echo, a walk through a residual, as the universe shifts and catches up to what has been made manifest in the Void.
Claustrophobic: The Building Wall
In the Void, the change has been initiated. From Within, the Divinity casts the net into the Without and starts to turn the cogs of creation. Energies shape and form and move towards you. But, there is one stumbling block: The force of change runs head-first into current reality. The previous wave of change has become hard, crystallized. Of course, it takes energy to break it down.
Sometimes, this new energy will come hard and fast, like a tsunami, making this phase short. Other times, it is a trickle, a slowly building stream of pressure that creates small cracks and fissures. The deciding factor is how much reflection is required to integrate the discovery of Self. This may sound like nonsense if you have not read my article on God, the Universe, and Everything. To fully understand what I am getting at, realize that in death, the death experience as we know it, is simply the exact same process which happens in change during life, except the energy does not harden and take solid, rooted, manifest form. Thus, reality changes according to your whim instantaneously. But, no insight in to self can be generated in this way. To learn, you need to slow down. There needs to be a gradual progression that allows for reflection. A fixidity, so that lack, want, desire, fulfillment, failure, all these things can be achieved.
In a realm of instantaneous manifestation, none of these conditions exist, and these are what lead to insight. So, after a while in death, you begin to desire physical form, and move into that. Physical reality has a residual, a delay between want it and create it, and a sense of time – because the infinite Divine has zoomed in, squeezed itself into the finite. Similar to if you zoom in on a rock, lots of things are happening, atoms are bouncing, electrons whisking around. But, if you zoom out, it’s a static lump. Same thing with time and the residual between desire and manifestation in “physical reality”, what is real is the rock, the illusion of activity is dependent on perspective.
Thus, this phase of energy rushing in and building, breaking down the current, hard reality you are experiencing. Even though this phase is illusion.
To the Sleeper mind, this phase is a feeling of being trapped. The walls are closing in, and the panic is rising, as the Sleeper actively resists the very same changes they called for in the Void, usually due to a preference for familiar routine, an avoidance of perceived potential pain, or fear of the unknown. Ironically, they sense themselves to be surrounded by walls, as though they cannot escape their current reality. In truth, the only reason they cannot escape their current reality is because they are actively resisting the force of change. In short, they are reinforcing their current reality, or short-circuiting the incoming change, or both. Either way, they are expending useless energy in repeating patterns which they feel are created outside of themselves, much like a mouse trying to escape the cage by running on an endlessly turning wheel, when the door is wide open. And, either way, they will still have to walk through that door, knowing or unknowing.
Of course, to the Darkworker, this energy is welcomed. This is a time of reflection – to see the value of past changes, and the insight into Self that they provide. It is a sacred place, a cherished time. The previous state is honored, and the new phase anticipated with excitement. Often, even more distant changes in the future are first contemplated here, as thought echoes like ripples on water. It is also a sign that validates that the desired change is indeed moving towards you.
Catastrophic: The Shaping Fire
Eventually, the energy behind the old state is overcome by the new in a swath of destruction. This actual moment of destruction is ironically what we usually recognize as change, a moment that we label as creation if we focus on what rushes in (the next stage), rather than what was taken away. It is here, however, that Divinity is revealed for the attuned, for the balance of the Universe reveals itself in full form. More is never given than is removed, and vice versa.
Thus, to become wealthy, a concurrent amount of scarcity energies must be removed. To experience the pleasure of a thin body, a concurrent amount of discomfort in exercise must be paid. In this Universe, balance dictates that, in the end, there are no free lunches. And, following that balance like a breadcrumb can lead the aspiring mind directly to the Divine Within.
But, this is for another day…
Often, this stage is simply seen manifest by the individual taking some form of action. Choice leads to motion, which then leads to consequence and the external reality must adapt in light of that force. The fat guy gets off his ass, the snaggletooth girl calls a dentist, the wage-slave turns in the two-week notice.
The important thing to realize is that this energy must first build, then destroy what is, before what is desired can step in and manifest. You have to smack the hoe, to get the hoe to stop talking. If you don’t hurt her pretty little face, she’ll just keep yapping all night long. Dig?
Hence, the Darkworker emphasis on action and destruction, and the effect of our results being amplified greater than the normal population. It accelerates for us because we are, in action, limiting the influx of new energy as little as possible; and, in destruction, because we are pulling in creative force with more enthusiasm.
Not always, but with some frequency, you will see Sleepers manifesting their assess off, except that the fire will come from the “external world”, rather than from their own action. The bank takes their home, someone robs them in the night, a tooth falls out, their significant other dumps them, and so forth. These changes will seem sudden, and as though they had nothing to do with them, but if you look closely at their lives, you will see patterns. These patterns are their creation and re-creation in action, but because they have a view that they are powerless, and that the world exists to torment them, they will invariably draw the fire to them in this form. Do not be fooled by their words, look at their chain to see the truth.
Sadly, you will see individuals stagnate here. Often called drama queens, they are addicted to keeping their lives in a constant destructive upheaval. They never realize they are doing this to themselves, even when it is plain to others. What is actually happening is that they have experienced insight into their true creative power, but their limiting beliefs are so strong as to prevent their own Polarization. Helping them is both delicate and dangerous for all parties involved, as the fury with which they cling to their limiting beliefs is almost always tied to some deep pain which serves as identity. The person, in their constant upheaval, is actually trying to thrash their self awake. What they need is therapy, or even better, a competent Darkworking instructor.
Cathartic: The Liberating Wave
Now, with the energy called, the pressure built, and the old reality destroyed, the wreckage can be washed away and the new can come in and be present. Here, a new reality is constructed. As the Catastrophic phase can be (but does not have to be) accompanied by some (or a lot) of discomfort, this phase is often accompanied by a relaxation, a release.
This phase is often represented in some fashion of childbirth, usually the moment the newborn takes the first breath. And, water is a common theme – the release of rain on dry soil, a cresting wave, anything which rejuvenates.
Often, we call this phase achievement, and accompany it with celebration. Of course, this assumes the change is desired. And, this feeling of excitement, victory, gratitude, which we experience is because we are moving the energy fully external, and releasing it to the environment.
However, if we resist the changes, we will often hold onto this energy, and pull the last section in, like a tide pulling out from shore. This results in depression, a heavy feeling, thoughts of being a victim, and the like.
Most assume that changes naturally settle, and therefore it is not possible to get stuck in this stage. I assure you, this is incorrect. The way to get stuck here is with incomplete integration. In other words, the change manifests, and you don’t allow it to fully manifest – instead, you keep pouring energy into the new manifestation and not allowing it to cycle into the next change.
A simple way to understand this is someone who manifests a new antique roadster car for their self, but then keeps it in the garage. They never drive it, constantly polish it, are forever changing parts, but don’t use it. Even though it is slowly falling apart, and they know this, they try to keep it in an uncontaminated stasis. The person who gets promoted to supervisor at work, but then is uncomfortable and does everything by consensus, rather than leading, making decisions, or even having a vision is another example. Hoarding, where people make money but never spend it, or accumulate and never get rid of possessions, is yet another form of incomplete integration. In short, allowing the change to manifest, but not to proceed to the next stage, is how one can stagnate here. To get unstuck, the person needs to go through the 5 stages of grieving, and simply let go. This does not mean that the promotion must be rejected, or the car tossed out, only that internally the strong internal clinging be loosened, the impermanence must be acknowledged.
Calibratic: The Grounding Breath
The change has come in, and now must fixate itself. This is a settling process – the new object becomes a normal part of life, the routine becomes habit, the experience becomes a memory. The energy is now loosing its motion, and slowly winding down.
Just as in the building wall, this too is a time of reflection. The new reality is observed, and the insight into yourself which it reveals should be studied and integrated. For the Darkworker, this time is a time of revelation, a holy act of peering down into the Self. Unfortunately, for the misguided mind (Darkworker or not), this can be a time of torment. Grief, agony, disappointment and disillusionment – many forms of pain can accompany change for those who resist them.
If fear of what comes next is the dominant reaction to this new state, the individual can stagnate here, unwilling to allow the energies to pass completely. The agoraphobic who never leaves the apartment is a classical example of this. Indeed, the Void which awaits becomes twisted and dark. Amusingly, even if tormented by their current reality, some Sleepers will maintain that reality simply out of it being known to them. What is needed is a sundering, where the person is forced to let the energies dissolve, such as when the police come to evict the agoraphobe for unpaid property taxes. Usually, this will be manifested with “external” causes.
In any case, the energies eventually become still, and then fade and dissolve into the Void, starting the entire cycle over again.
Hence, we have seen that change is dynamic, cyclical, and balanced. It should be noted that the dynamic aspect to change cannot be stressed enough. While I have not experienced it directly, I have had tastes of what Buddhist monks describe – it is said that in deep meditative states, you can actually feel yourself dying and incarnating from moment to moment. This literally means that the entire universe is fading and emerging, over and over, just like your heartbeat in your chest. Amazing. Beautiful.
Also, I should take a moment to point out that we have looked at one, and only one, thread of change from start to finish, for the sake of simplicity. In actual practice, you have hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of change streams operating in your reality at any one given time. Woven together, all of these threads compromise your identity, your “self” (with the little S). If you isolate out those threads which relate to the realization of your Divinity, these form a rope which we call your Descent. This creates a symphony both within yourself and with others and your environment, that is breath-taking. Which many Darkworking socities referred to as Fate. It is Fate, in this sense, which I find most interesting.
The intricacies to this process are many, and I open the floor to discussion on the forums. For example, all of these threads are woven together, with each one impacting the others. What does this imply or mean for some who keeps trying to, for example, loose weight and finds theirself unable to do so? What are the implications for society? What if everyone became aware of the energy flow in their life? What about Sleepers and change – given the nature of energy and their ignorance, how does this play into the repeating patters we see in the world and human history? And most important of all, given the pattern of change and its interwoven nature, what is and how can we understand (or not) Fate?
What do you, readers, think on the subject?
Think, or die.
Speak, or go back to sleep.
Change, or get off the pot. J
On a sentimental note, I leave you per my custom with a video link: